An Open Letter To The Previous Tenant

Dear Previous Tenant Who Clearly Didn't Have The Brains God Gave A Gnat,

What the fuck is wrong with you? You see that tall, round thing near the sink? I know you did. You correctly identified it as a bin, for putting rubbish in. Well done! You failed, however, to notice the existence of bags that go inside it, didn't you? I know it can be confusing, calling them Bin Bags - the name doesn't make it at all clear what they're used for. Obviously, you never made the link.

For the benefit of the people who come and live in your next flat after you've gone, let me explain. Bin bags go inside the bin. You take them outside and throw them away when you've filled them, in the giant bins outside the house that look a bit like the one in the kitchen. This should happen quite frequently. If you don't do this, and instead just throw food directly into the bin and leave it for months on end, you get mould growing. I don't dare explore too closely what the hell else is growing in the putrid mess you left in the bottom of the bin in my kitchen - I'm just adding "new bin" to the top of my shopping list. But it would all be oh so much easier if you could have learnt to fucking use bin bags.

Lots and lots of love,

The pissd off tenant in your last flat who hates you nearly as much as the landlady does

Coline et les Soliloques  – (15 October 2010 at 18:17)  

Oh my Gosh that's so funny ! You made me laught so much ! It seems written for my flatmate AND my landlady.

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