We have moved!
Success! We are installed in our new, cozy little flat which is fantastic. It has doors, and storage space and a giant telly, and loads of windows and plug points, and a lack of irritating theiving people right outside the window.
It doesn't have a balcony, though it does have giant windows in the living room and the bedroom, and it has a mezzanine with 2 single beds on it which is actually possibly usable (unlike the other flat, where it would have been a ludicrous idea, and not just because of the safety hazards...)
All in all, am tres pleased with this flat. Absent anything going horribly wrong (like the sink trying to kill me again, or something) I might even be willing to stay here!