Not a subject many of you probably expected to see addressed on these pages, but nonetheless, today's topic is running. It may only be today's topic, since we know how long my attention span is, but today I went into the shopping metropolis that is Monaco to buy some shoes for the doing of running. And some suitable clothes, for same.

The woman in the shop took pity on me when she realised quite how out of my depth I was - I didn't know my shoe size, for a start. No, not even in English. But she did admirably, finding out my shoe size (a 39, in case you're planning to buy me wildly expensive shoes. Please, do, feel free to do so...) and finding me shoes more or less within my price range that wouldn't hurt me when starting off running. And they weren't pink. (She did pick up a pink and white pair, looked at me again and said "Too pink?" It's nice to know it's obvious that I'm not a pink person even at a glance...)

So, starting tomorrow (enough excitement for one day, plus beginning running near a building site full of bored builders on a Friday afternoon is a recipe for disaster), I will be starting to run. I think I'm going to do it by following the strict instructions on this site. It promises to get me from the level of fitness I am now (zero) to being able to run, continuously, for 5km. This seems unlikely. But in the interests of scientific experimentation - and unemployed boredom - I am willing to give it a go.

If you're taking bets on how long I'll last, don't tell me about it.

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